Thoughts

Did you look outside as you awakened, and wonder if this was the day?
Did you think to praise God and thank Him for all that He did for you and the love that He poured out upon you before you took your first breath and as you took your last?
And were you sad because you were leaving your home, or did your heart sing because finally, after all these years, you were coming to the one place where your heart truly belonged?
Do you remember anything you left behind, or is your entire being consumed with where you are now?
Is it anything like what you had imagined, or is above and beyond what you ever dreamed?
I can't imagine...standing, falling, singing, shining, in the presence of the one man you've loved all your life, finally, face to face.
Now you are free from yourself, this world, this pain- it must be the perfect rest you never dreamed could be found.
But then, you didn't find it, did you?

Here in the darkness, it found you.

Why do I feel that in some sense, you're still near me? Is it that you left a bit of yourself in me before you left?
Is it that you and I really were more alike than I thought, and it's only now that you're gone that I'm able to be aware of the character qualities we shared?
Everone says they can see you in me- years ago I would have been mad, but now I know better. Why wouldn't I want to reflect someone who lived to reflect Christ?

Or do I feel that you aren't so very far away because
really, heaven is closer than I ever imagined?
And the One you love is loving me, holding us both in His strong, tender hand.
We both belong to eternity, just one of us is still stranded in time. I will, and must, continue steadily on, for there is much for me to do . Your work here is done, but my purpose has not been fulfilled. I know not what it is, but I have complete confidence and trust in the Orchestrator of all.

His will, not mine, be done.

Gaudete